It has been a hard week. Originally, when I sat down to try to summarize this week I wanted to share about culture shock and loneliness. But as I asked the Lord what He wanted me to share, these things came to mind in which I found myself on my knees in repentance, crying out to the Lord, “Yes Lord, I believe, help me in my unbelief!” The biggest culture shock for me has been going from a life that runs 150 miles per hour a day with not even a moment of time to spare, or a chance to think and reflect, a life of constant busyness and nonstop activity…. to a place where I am completely set apart with a new beginning, no friends, hardly any communication, no worldly distractions, and hours of which I can fill doing anything! My mind is having a hard time even processing the reality of this because it is so far from what I have known for many many years.
For the past couple of days I have struggled with the daily living out of this situation God has placed me in. I have even gone as far as to feel sorry for myself as I sit in a tiny room, all by myself without a way to communicate with the ones I love and void of human embrace for over a week now, which could seem like a lifetime. Yes, I admit that these are the thoughts that have mostly occupied my mind for the past days.
Tonight, however, God has revealed to me the truth. I cried out to Him in repentance saying, “Lord, I believe you have called me to this place, for such a time as this….yet help me in my unbelief!”
Then belief came swooping in to cover me with its wings of hope. ”Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:16-18)
Who am I to complain? Who am I to mope about the extra and much needed time I get to spend with my Savior and Best Friend? Who am I to allow myself to pity myself for such set apartness? I am nothing, I am a dumb sheep in desperate need of a Shepherd. (Jehovah Raah is the Lord our Shepherd who I taught the kids about in bible this week.) The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. (Psalm 23)
Thus I have come to an acceptance and a place of praise as I realize my Shepherd is leading me through a process of restoring my soul to a place where I have no want for anything else but His presence alone to satisfy the desires of my heart. What a beautiful place for my soul to rest in. What a gracious gift of forgiveness and faith. Thank you oh Lord my Rock and my Refuge, I hide myself in Thee.
For the past couple of days I have struggled with the daily living out of this situation God has placed me in. I have even gone as far as to feel sorry for myself as I sit in a tiny room, all by myself without a way to communicate with the ones I love and void of human embrace for over a week now, which could seem like a lifetime. Yes, I admit that these are the thoughts that have mostly occupied my mind for the past days.
Tonight, however, God has revealed to me the truth. I cried out to Him in repentance saying, “Lord, I believe you have called me to this place, for such a time as this….yet help me in my unbelief!”
Then belief came swooping in to cover me with its wings of hope. ”Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:16-18)
Who am I to complain? Who am I to mope about the extra and much needed time I get to spend with my Savior and Best Friend? Who am I to allow myself to pity myself for such set apartness? I am nothing, I am a dumb sheep in desperate need of a Shepherd. (Jehovah Raah is the Lord our Shepherd who I taught the kids about in bible this week.) The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. (Psalm 23)
Thus I have come to an acceptance and a place of praise as I realize my Shepherd is leading me through a process of restoring my soul to a place where I have no want for anything else but His presence alone to satisfy the desires of my heart. What a beautiful place for my soul to rest in. What a gracious gift of forgiveness and faith. Thank you oh Lord my Rock and my Refuge, I hide myself in Thee.
1 comment:
What a beautiful glipse into your heart my friend. I have learned first hand the blessing of technology that shortens the greatest distance between family and friends...I will keep emailing. Love you!
Les
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